What I can say is that this God has already brought me out of my shell which can be hard to do. And it’s uncomfortable. But with His influence I’ve certainly strive to become a little more open. And when I had a headache weeks ago, you can say what you want, but I prayed to Him and wished my headache to go away, after I took some over the counter pain medication. Once that happened and I laid down right after, that was when I prayed and the headache was gone, just like that. Though it wasn’t until a few days later that I read He was known to wipe out sickness.

Even the Sun tends to dominate a certain type of online role playing game that I’m into through a character associated with a certain solar symbol – a lion. The lion in question obviously has Fire associated with it, so it’s a definitely interesting connection there, though I’m not sure if the game developers were aware of it. But knowing them, they probably were since they’re from Japan. And those certain game developers certainly love their symbolism and references to their previous games.

This all started back before Yuletide with a dream and I made a post about it. I did another post about Him as well. And even though Belenos is still a ‘new’ God to me, I’ve built an nshrine for Him, and ordered a sun looking pendant. Hopefully it’ll be here soon.

Now I’ve had dreams about going to England, being happy there, etc. Some months ago I had this one dream that I was somewhere in England and I was speaking respectfully to this one God. Now I’m ‘told’ this is/was Cernunnos but given my associations with Ullr that would be no surprise. But I have a strong feeling (I didn’t write it down anywhere dumb@$$ that I am) that it was a God of the Sun and Fire.

Well I didn’t think too much on this dream until I had this dream last week about this one guy telling me it was an honour to meet me and he had long stringy blonde hair. Said his name was ‘Al’ or something like that. Then I had another dream two nights ago about a character and he was wearing this nice button down mint green shirt.

Which made me somehow rethink on the ‘Team Celt’ dream. So I did some research on Sun and Fire Gods, coming up with Belenus. So I was asking my Dragon Tarot if this was some sort of new path I should pursue. And it occurred to me that it would be ancestrally correct, so I looked up my father’s mother’s maiden name. (My paternal grandmother). Her maiden name was Hitchcock.

I do remember my father telling me at some point, he had a grandmother with the last name of White, which also resonates. Now my father’s last name of course is Larsen. And my mother’s maiden name was Venditti and her mother’s (my maternal grandmother) maiden name was Garofalo so that’s pure Italian.

So there very unmistakably is English in my family ancestry/history which neatly ties all of this in together. Plus as I’m typing this I’m getting a lot of clue by fours (even as weird as a mention of Sunnyvale on plurk and solar panel spam email advertisements, two Stonehenge references in articles/television and an advertisement on FB), not to mention the fact that when I asked my Dragon Tarot if I should do/pursue some sort of relationship with this God Belanos, and the first card I pulled was The Sun.

And I wonder why I’ve always felt such a huge tug to go to England and Ireland and go live there if I ever get a chance to. And this explains why, which is a huge relief.

I get so hung up on ‘netiquette (what I call ‘common courtesy’) that I forget about bigger things in my life (as in the Gods Themselves), even if Their presence is all around me. Even in dreams the Gods come to visit me and I love it. So today, even though I sort of got a speech from a lady who is Christian, the lesson was the same.

I’ve been so uptight and angry lately especially about this one particular person, and the speech this lady addressed those very things, though there’s absolutely no way that she could know what’s been going on in my life. She told me she has to let anger go and let her God take care of the rest. In my particular case, this would be plural, it would be Gods, which also includes the Goddesses.

She went on to say anger and stress does her no good and that she has to just let it go and that good will come back around for her when it’s time. (I mentally called this karma when she was talking about it.) I know people say people come into your life when you need them to, and if things go the way they’ve been spoken of, at the very least I sorely needed that anger speech.

Now anyone who really knows me, knows that I *hate* to be angry. Unfortunately I’m just terribly good at it. And she gave me hope which I haven’t had in a good long while. So that was actually a blessing to have come from what I considered to be an ordinary conversation at first.

Heimdall showed up a few days ago with constant reminders of His presence, since anything to do with rainbows (He guards the Bifrost/Rainbow Bridge) puts Him in my mind and there were plenty of reminders of rainbows the other day. And I even think Ullr‘s been showing up by giving me people associated with a certain zodiac sign that seem to act as voices of reason/a conscience/help. I’ve seen Him associated with that certain sign due to obvious reasons/associations and both of the people that have the same niche have that same sign. Call it coincidence if you will, I tend to call it fate due to the Dragonlance saying ‘Follow coincidence far enough and you’ll find it tied to fate.’

The dream I had last night I was..somewhere and my father picked me up this black round ceramic plate of Zeus and I actually wanted another one of Him, something that was etched and light grey in colour. And then there were these displays and statues of the Gods all around, and I remember seeing Artemis, Dionysus, Zeus and in a dramatic event like, clouds parted to have sun shine down on Apollo’s statue. I’m pretty sure I saw other Gods and Goddesses as well, but those are the ones that I can remember offhand. Zeus’ statue was very grand along with Apollo’s. Dionysus was sitting turned away as if patiently with a staff in His hand and had dark hair. Artemis seemed very demure and closed off, but still ready to kick your ass if she ‘had to come in/down/over there’.

There was a dream I had before that one though about Mars. I had..something from someone, I don’t recall what the object itself was. But someone had asked me to use said object to break bad luck or stop/bind someone or something. So of course since I’m far cooler in my dreams than in waking life I used the magic words for fire (that I of course have no idea about since I’m awake), to do what the person had asked of me, calling on Mars to do so. And I had told said person after that it worked and that it was done. So that makes me really wonder about certain things in my life, especially dealing with regards to online matters.

And I find it ironically funny that before all of the drama went down online, I had a dream the night before that I saw some awesomely gorgeous painting of Neptune that I wanted to purchase so badly. As Neptune isn’t known as a God of Peace, He’s more known for earthquakes, floods, storms, stormy seas, you know..stuff like that.

Now I can blame last night’s dreams on an icon of Apollo that I saw on a friend’s lj out of nowhere yesterday. Or I can blame it on the fact that I do have a Priestess of Zeus on my RS Feed that had a prayer offered to Him that I read yesterday on livejournal. But I won’t. ^^

And one day when I can figure it all out, I’ll write up an entry as to what I actually am other than pagan, because I really don’t know if there’s an actual pagan term for it. Now I can say I’m duel classed/wielding pantheons, following the Norse (my father is of Danish descent) and Roman/Greek deities. (my mother’s family is descended from gypsies in Sicily)

But I have a fondness in my heart for Anubis because once upon a time when I was dedicated to Odhinn, Anubis showed up in a dream. I asked Him to please go away because He scared me, and He did. But yet I wasn’t scared of Odhinn who has a terrible reputation, and He and I got along fabulously when I was in His service. So I really don’t know if there’s a term for what I am really.

This is of course is not to mention that even grown Heathen men dedicated to this Odhinn refuse to wear His symbol of a valknut, which is basically where you give Him permission to take you out at any time for any reason. I wore mine with pride, and grown men dedicated to Him won’t wear it because they’re afraid. No, really I’m serious. I really don’t know how that works though honestly. Either you’re in, or you’re out, because Odhinn really isn’t a god of half assed measures. And I truly believe They’ll take you out at any time whether you give Them permission or not, regardless of personal beliefs/pantheon/deity/deities…but..whatever. I also really believe there are reminders of Odhinn every time I see a certain friend’s online name too due to who His servant daughters are, so go figure.

But at any rate before I went off on a tangent, if I were to have a Kemetic God/deity to follow, it would be Anubis, because I’ve seen Him in dreams plenty after that one time, and He hasn’t scared me since. He’s actually really calm and very pleasant, just like He was when I asked Him to leave me alone that one time.

Now I did make a comment the other night to someone that Mars is my boss. Now this is true and it’s also a joke at the same time. Astrologically, Mars is associated with the my sun sign of Aries. Obviously = Ares the Greek God of War = Roman Mars. Aries is called ‘the boss’ when given a title in the zodiac, so it’s all a sort of circle by calling Mars the Boss. And only He gets the ‘boss’ title due to this stuff. The others are called Patrons.

My other main patron is a God of peace/keeping/making called Njord. When Odhinn handed me over to Njord I was surprised because I really didn’t know who this God was, having only say him in my Vikings Tarot as the King of Cups. But He’s a God of the sea, sailors, fisherman, etc. So if anyone really asks, Njord and Mars are the two gods I’ll mention that I’m dedicated to first. I find it somehow ironic there’s a God of Peace and a God of War there. Or one could go by my birth signs – Chinese – Water (Water Rat) and Western – Fire (Aries).

Two other Gods I will tell you I’m dedicated to after that are Ullr and Heimdall. Both are guardians and protect others, Ullr is associated with hunting, winter and bows/arrows, and Heimdall is associated with rams (hey Aries!), guards the Bifrost Bridge, and guards the Gods Themselves, so go figure.

A friend of mine who’s dedicated to Hermes, once said she believes the Gods draw lots over children when they’re born as to who they belong to. I really think she’s right, even if that baby will belong to a christian/jewish/muslim/buddhist/whatever deity or set of deities.

It didn’t help that this guy was talking about departures and ships. And where the bibles rested, there was this sea blue knitted covering, and hell, even some of the bibles were blue with the word chalice on them. There were also black bibles with gold keys that kept reminding me of Anubis, Hecate, Frigga, Janus, and Osiris came to mind when resurrection and everlasting life was discussed. Nike was even mentioned (not in Her Goddess form but still) and of course, you say anything with a Roman name (such as verses in a bible) I immediately think ‘Team Rome’.

So people could get up and speak about memories of the deceased. Now had I known, I would’ve had something written ahead of time. But my friend got up and even though she’d been crying on and off, she was relatively alright. But honestly (there are about one hundred or more witnesses to this) when she saw me sitting there, she waved with her piece of paper she’d prepared a speech on, said my name out loud in front of all of these people, broke down and cried. I felt so bad. I really wanted to get up and hug her, but I didn’t know if it was alright or if it would’ve embarrassed her. So I stayed put. But after the service was over, she came right over to me crying. I still feel bad though.

But her teenaged daughter went in the car with me for a food reception and there was just so.much.damn.food. I went up twice and then made a plate for Youko, and she nommed everything I brought home for her. Plus, my friend had invited me to her house to play catch up for a bit after the reception and before I went ‘home’. She even remembered how I liked my coffee (more sugar than coffee), one of my favourite colours and that I love rice. Keep in mind I’ve known her since seventh grade and that was..many years ago.

She has this ball python that I held (he’s about four feet long?) and he wrapped his body around my arm and slithered around, stared at me for a bit and went underneath my hair. He was adorable and I kept mentally calling him Ayame. My friend was surprised he took to me so well at how ‘calm’ he was. She sent me home with even more food. But come to find out she’s learning to read tarot cards, so it was fun to learn that. And that’s when I heard some very good news.In a few weeks, I may have a chance to work ‘under the table’ for four days and make a good amount of money. It’s working at a festival, a Greek Festival to be more specific.

And a part of me laughing about some sort of irony here? After all, it all started this morning with a bit about Mnemosyne. So that talk had actually prompted me to dust off/straighten up my ‘Team Rome’ and ‘Team Norse’ and small band of ‘Team Egypt’ altars before I even left to go to the memorial service. ‘Team Egypt’ is really just Anubis, Ra, Bast, Horus and Seshat right now really. And the only one I ‘hear’ from on a ‘regular’ basis is Anubis.

It’s a lot of hours, but the pay is more than worth it. And I can learn more authentic Greek cooking for those Gods. I just have to decide if I’m going to stay in CT until that time or as the Steve Miller Band would say ‘take the money and run’. I’m not ‘advancing’ here, at least here in this house. I’m stuck and have been that way for two years, with no progress made at all. And there’s only two animals I care to take with me, that’s my cat Shadow and my turtle Ran, the three ferrets can stay. Hell the only thing I want to buy is the Wizard’s Tarot deck.

So I’m pretty sure moving out in some form or fashion is on the table. The only question that remains about that is to where. I can’t get as far as I’d like to go, not yet. But if I could make it to Columbus Ohio I know I have a place to stay there, but it’s most likely not a good idea overall. It was funny, on the way to the memorial service, I kept thinking how dead everything looked to me. I know it’s Spring, but it’s been real hard to tell that here. But again, over and over all I could think was how dead everything looked. But before I went back to the house, I stopped at this thrift store. I like those places because you never quite know what you’ll find.

I ended up finding a pewter seagull necklace and heard a song I dedicated to my aunt who passed twenty one years ago. Maybe I should’ve bought the necklace and the shot glass (I don’t drink but it was $1) of a place I hope to one day visit. But I already have my Laguz pendant I wear in honour of Njord. Huh. Wonder if those were signs I missed?

Maybe the seagull wasn’t from Njord but Poseidon? It’s not a symbol I would associate with the Greek God but if I had thought about it at the time, it sort of makes sense. The first time I ever ‘saw’ Poseidon was in the 1980′s movie Clash of the Titans and Poseidon transformed from a seagull to His godly self.

In another dream there was this stone statue of Poseidon, that looked something like He does here. (Minus the background, seahorse, jellyfish and everything else.) Well apparently I really liked it and smiled at it. I’m not sure if the expression on the statue changed or not.

Carved next to it in what looked like white chalk were images of boars, which changed over to wolves. My only associations with those creatures are Frey for the boars, and Odhinn for the wolves, if we’re speaking Gods wise.

I had another dream where I was in my father’s house and the house was in some mountains. Well there was this hot boiling lava dripping steadily down from this one rock. You could see trees catching on fire and dying as this lava rolled through, just coating, burning and destroying everything in its path. The funny thing was that there was no visible volcano for some reason. (Now my only association with lava is Hephaestus because of being a blacksmith. But that would be more creative fire and not destroying.)

I yelled to Tabby to get stuff ready to leave, and I ran upstairs and fell asleep. I woke up (not sure how much longer later) and started to look for something to transport my turtle Ran in to be able carry her out of the house. I also was wondering where my cat and ferret were so I could get them out to safety. I was also debating whether or not to do a status update on the internet, so people were aware of what was going on. (And no, I have no idea why that would be important in this sort of situation, either.)

While all of this was going on, someone was outside shooting a gun and the police were on the porch, getting ready to apprehend this guy. I remember he shot into the house and I ducked down as the bullets missed me, but whizzing past, with cold air.

And to top all of this off, my cat woke me up by crying her little head off because everyone was asleep, so she had no one to pester for company. So that gave me about 2 hours of sleep and I’ve been awake since.

So I asked my Dragon Tarot if Poseidon wanted my attention. The first card I got said yes. So, I asked Poseidon for some symbols if I ever did a necklace for Him. He told me opal and a trumpet shell. Now keep in mind I’d had two hours of sleep and opal didn’t make any sense at all, and the trumpet shell didn’t either, except for the shell part and obvious ocean reference. And then, the house acted up/answered because I heard two knocks on the door to the living room where I sleep on the couch near the tree. It was neat and creepy all at the same time.

Well upon research courtesy of Google, the opal is the birthstone of October. This I would’ve remembered had I not only had just two hours of sleep. But I learned there’s a few different types/colours too, that which I didn’t know. And I also learned that there’s some water inside of an opal. That would be a pretty nifty significance considering Poseidon is the God of the seas. So when I get one, it’ll look just like/be this colour. To me, that best represents the sea.

Now, for the trumpet shell. Now Poseidon’s son Triton has one and considering Who told me to get it as a symbol, well it just plain makes sense to me.

I loved Sean Bean as Zeus (center, but pictured with Poseidon and Athene) and I love Steve Coogan as Hades. The only problem I have with him is that in an interview with Steve, he said of his role as Hades, he referred to (his role as Him) it as that of ‘the devil’. Bad move Steve, I still love you, and I’d be more than happy to correct you..in person. *ahem*

I also loved Pierce Brosnan as Chiron. When he was going around explaining the Greek Gods to the kids who (I think) were all demigods, and showing them the statues of the Gods, I really wished I had a teacher half as cool as Chiron and to even have a field trip like that. Demigods have luck I guess. ^^ In an interview with Kevin McKidd I think he called Zeus the older brother of Poseidon, but both McKidd and Brosnan’s kids have read the books. I still have to.

Yes, true, there’s no biological ‘daughter’ of Athene, (called Annabeth in the movie) but it was neat to see the concept played with. It was terribly predictable that Annabeth would be guarding the flag from Percy, but still. I actually really felt sorry for Poseidon (played by Kevin McKidd), since he really wanted to see Percy grow up but was forbidden by Zeus to do so. I could tell I really liked the movie because I found myself telling Percy what to do, so that means I was emotionally invested in Percy’s character and hence the movie.

And still speaking of those Gods, my ‘newest’ (actually kinda technically oldest/known/aware of..) Boss likes this pendant to represent Him, so I’ll be ordering it tonight or tomorrow.

I had some dream two nights ago that I killed someone that was doing bad things to people but I was in trouble. I stopped into this booth type thing, ducked my head in and talked with Athene, asking for Her wisdom. I have no idea what that means, really. But this makes about 3 or 4 dreams that She’s shown up in now. Yes I am paying attention.

But I am aware of it seems the ‘Team Rome/Greece’ team is shaping up to look like Mars/Ares (who’s the Boss), Juno/Hera, Minerva/Athene and Neptune/Poseidon. I’ve had no contact really with Hephaistos/Vulcan or Venus/Aphrodite. I saw seashells in a dream that I associate with Her (scallop shells) a few nights ago, but other than that..nothing really. It’s all pretty interesting to see it kind of come together.

Next reference is hearing Poseidon’s name on some silly video located athttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k8F3UE9qFsg   (and I strongly suggest just skipping to 1:57, even though T-Pain has a nice voice and the water is just beautiful of course. And yes I want that big art piece of Poseidon too!!) I mean, seriously, I understand the use of the ‘f’ word even though I don’t swear much, but honestly..that’s overkill. I’ll take the boat, the water, the mermaid outfit that reminds me of Ran, T-Pain’s black top hat, and the one he wears with the gold ship anchor.

While pondering even making this an lj entry, I saw yet another Poseidon reference in song today, while skimming through my f-list on livejournal.

I had a dream earlier today about water too, so I feel like I’m getting all of these big hints, but for what I have no idea. And speaking of, I had some dream a few nights ago where I was..washing this floor with a mop..and the mop part was all heads like my statue of Freyja.  I think it ties in with the comeback of a  person..but still.

Alright, time to go off and listen to my usual Friday tunes which consists of  Faith Hill’s ‘Breathe’ for Aphrodite/Venus. I can so picture Her thinking of Her time spent with Ares/Mars during this song.

I also listen to Nami Tamaki’s ‘Heart and Soul’  for Cupid/Eros and Psyche. That song reminds me of some of the trials that Psyche had to overcome and an attitude She might’ve had to take to achieve Her dream of being with Eros once She got those tasks assigned to Her.

Now if I can just find an appropriate one for Hera/Juno.

I did some research on Him a day later and found all sorts of neat things. On January 1st of 2008 I put an altar up to Him, since He’s a god of new beginnings. His altar had the side closest to the window, so the rising sun could peek onto His altar first, since I’d read an association with Him and the first rays of the morning sun.

I oathed to Him on October 1, 2008, and that had to be the most I’d done before, even though it truly wasn’t much.  I was honoured to have written a part for an unpublished book, but still, the honour was all mine.

I’ve become quite a better person under this God’s influence I think, being even more protective and watching over others. I’ve also learned to do right by people and things. A good example was to offer to help a friend I don’t even know in person. She could’ve walked away from my friendship, but she didn’t, and I let her know the offer stands, whether or not she ever takes me up on it.

I find I get a kick out of when my friends associate me with Him. That’s an absolute honour and joy I think. Associations I have for Him (and some is UPG) are rainbow colours, gold, white, Amethyst, lavender, purple, lilac, Palomino horses, and hawks.

I wrote an invocation to Him -

Heimdall -

Lord Heimdall, Far sighted watchman with unequaled hearing, You Who stand courageously alone against all on comers at Your post.

May I be courageous to take action when and where it is needed.

May I always strive to do the right thing, and be able to see all sides before I judge.

May my counsel be wise.

May I not stand idly by while injustices occur around me.

May I be vigilant to stand up for or speak for those weaker than myself, and protect and defend them if necessary.

May I be ever watchful against prejudice, hatred or any other negative behaviour, including that within my own self.

Hail to you Lord Heimdall, ever vigilant protector and defender of the Gods, Father of mankind, wise of counsel, Lord of Himinbjorg, Guardian of the Bifrost Bridge.

Songs I have on a playlist for Him -

Heimdall -

Abingdon Boys School -”Innocent Sorrow”
Adams, Bryan – “Heaven”
Branch, Michelle – “Everywhere”
Brown, Chris – “Forever”
Carey, Mariah – “Lovin’ You a Long Time”
Carlisle, Belinda- “Heaven is a Place on Earth”
Collective Soul – “The World I Know”
D.J. Sammy – “Heaven”
Hamasaki, Ayumi – “Angel’s Song”
Hamasaki, Ayumi – “Rainbow”
Hearts Grow – “Yura Yura”
Hikaru, Utada- “Passion”
Journey – “Don’t Stop Believin’”
Journey – “Open Arms”
Journey – “When You Love a Woman”
Lavigne, Avril- “Keep Holding On”
Nickelback – “Hero”
Nickelback – “I’d Come For You”
Nickelback – “Never Gonna Be Alone”
The Calling – “Anything”
TM Revolution – “Slight Faith”
Toy Box -”Fantasy Dream World”
Vanilla Sky – “Umbrella”
Westlife- “Obvious”

It’s an absolute joy to have this God (and the others!) in my life. Like Njord and Ullr, He’s just not one I would have ever thought that would be in my life, and I honestly never paid Him much attention before I saw the anime. He’s taught me to be more honourable, noble and trustworthy. I can’t say enough nice things about Him.